SYMPTOM : Feet cold and wet. FAULT : Glass being held at incorrect angle. ACTION : Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.
SYMPTOM : Feet warm and wet. FAULT : Improper bladder control. ACTION : Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.
SYMPTOM : Beer unusually pale and tasteless. FAULT : Glass empty. ACTION : Get someone to buy you another beer.
SYMPTOM : Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights. FAULT : You have fallen over backwards. ACTION : Have yourself leashed to the bar.
SYMPTOM : Mouth contains cigarette butts. FAULT : You have fallen forwards. ACTION : See above.
SYMPTOM : Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet. FAULT : Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face. ACTION : Retire to restroom, practice in front of mirror.
SYMPTOM : Floor blurred. FAULT : You are looking through bottom of empty glass. ACTION : Get someone to buy you another beer.
SYMPTOM : Floor moving. FAULT : You are being carried out. ACTION : Insist on being taken to another bar.
SYMPTOM : Room seems unusually dark. FAULT : Bar has closed. ACTION : Continue drinking
SYMPTOM : Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures. FAULT : Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations. ACTION : Immediately cover mouth.
SYMPTOM : Everyone looks up to you and smiles. FAULT : You are dancing on the table. ACTION : Fall on somebody cushy-looking.
SYMPTOM : Beer is crystal-clear. FAULT : It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up. ACTION : Punch him.
SYMPTOM : Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear. FAULT : You have been in a fight. ACTION : Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.
SYMPTOM : Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in. FAULT : You've wandered into the wrong party. ACTION : See if they have free beer.
SYMPTOM : Your singing sounds distorted. FAULT : The beer is too weak. ACTION : Have more beer until your voice improves.
SYMPTOM : Don't remember the words to the song. FAULT : Beer is just right. ACTION : Play air guitar.
The Edge Malaysia (Options), 18 July 2005 Sheila Singam has an exciting visual experience at Feast Village, the city's latest dining destination at Starhill Gallery.
I'm standing in the lower lobby of the Marriott Hotel, staring at a passageway lit up by myriad twinkling stars. It's mystifying, surreal, like something out of Star Trek, and beckons to me. There's a bit of disorientation as I walk through, wondering whether I'm stepping into another place in time. The feeling intensifies when I emerge on the other side: I feel as if I've been caught in a giant kaleidoscope for gourmets.
The spectacular star-sprinkled passageway is euphemistically called "The Time Tunnel", and is an apt herald for the wonders that lie beyond on the lower ground floor of Starhill Gallery in Jalan Bukit Bintang. I peruse my surroundings for familiar landmarks: Shook! is there, and Sentidos Tapas, but everything else has changed. The visual impact is dizzying. There are restaurants all around, and each looks different and exciting. They occupy the space once taken up by Tangs.
Finding my bearings at Shook!, I decide to go on a tour of the place to discover what culinary wonders lie beyond my line of vision. Fortunately, I have an able guide in the form of Eric Eoon Whai San, executive director, YTL group customer service. He explains that the space - appropriately called Feast Village - contains 13 food and beverage outlets made up of fine-dining and casual restaurants, a bakery/confectionery and a bar. Of these, five - Luk Yu Tea House, Shook!, Sentidos Tapas, The Village Bar and Fisherman's Cove - belong to and are operated by YTL.
Feast Village is under the design supervision of unconventional lawyer-turned-interior architect Yuhkichi Kawai. Judging from my surroundings, the man's a great fan of the mystical, magical tour experience. Each of the restaurants has tremendous character - some overtly reflect their culinary roots, others are designed to beguile and tantalise by appearing to contradict their purpose. The decor of each one enhances the total dining experience by reflecting in some way its ethnic character, and they are all different, yet the dissimilarities don't jar but offer visual excitement to the viewer.
Eoon suggests I begin my tour with Luk Yu, a quaint two-storey teahouse that's ingeniously wrapped around the escalator leading to the upper floors. Barricaded by stained glass and carved Chinese screens from different dynasties, the restaurant is the perfect place for a dim sum repast or a light Chinese meal with fragrant tea. A dark wooden staircase leads to an alcove upstairs. The restaurant opens out onto a courtyard beside Sentidos Tapas that contains more tables. Eoon suggests I come back here to play Chinese chequers over jasmine tea one afternoon.
Next, we visit Enak. Except for the batik-styled panels on the walls, there's nothing to indicate that this is a restaurant that serves Malay and Indonesian cuisine. It's contemporary - white damask tablecloths and napkins spell out its aspirations, but red, blue and beige chairs cheer up the space and soften the hauteur. Emerging from Enak, I spy a Chinese bridal bed just beside the capsule lift. It's little touches like this that raises the Feast Village above your ubiquitous, wannabe KL culinary destination.
The designer's eye for fine detail is evident in the materials and the way they are used to create texture and visual excitement on every surface. The floors and walls of passages between restaurants are lined with wood and stone in various incarnations. Stacked slate, granite, bamboo, tinted concrete, fancy brickwork and colourful mosaic are just some of the design features that make the paths to gastronomic experience a joy to tread. Columns are thoughtfully disguised with split tree trunks to blend into the village concept.
Even the washrooms are not spared the detailing. Eoon insisted I investigate them (yes, I went into the gents, but supervised, of course) and I emerged deeply impressed that so much thought had gone into creating such exciting pee-stops. To describe them at length would be to spoil the fun, you need to check them out yourself.
We pop into Koryo Won, the Korean restaurant across from Luk Yu, and are given a brief tour by the affable owners. It is bright, modern and cheerful, in shades of red, with yellow lighting to add warmth. Just beside it, the regal MyThai by Jim Thompson offers an interesting contrast. Paving stones offer a path amidst a stream of flowing water to get into the restaurant proper, where silk-clad cushions in curtained alcoves hint at the romance of Siam. It's unmistakeably Thai, yet unmistakeably modern, combining the best of the Orient's past and present in one place.
We wind our way past the Village Bar, which has nothing village-like about it, to be frank. Philippe Stark chairs and a variety of coloured glass lanterns juxtaposed with tall columns of bottles (yes, bottles) make this a very interesting watering hole indeed. Across from it, Vansh, an avant-garde Indian restaurant, is slowly being set up. There's lots of stone in the decor here, but ethnic accents in the form of mirror inlays and lighting hint at its culinary pedigree.
Beside it is the two-storey Fisherman's Cove, built like a rumah nelayan with lots of bamboo, wood and fishing nets. Tempurung-style lamps light the path to the restaurant, which is delineated by wooden barriers and "sails" made of light gauze. Inside, lamps made from fish traps and woven baskets are suspended from mengkuang awnings. The effect is distinctly "nautical kampung".
I spy a Chinese restaurant - Pak Loh Chiu Chow - across the way. Dark wooden tables made from modified chamber doors are set against curved aluminium-clad walls in an interesting composition that pays homage to tradition and modernity. An intricate filigree screen that looks like wrought iron turns out to be felt. Clever. On the other side of the restaurant, a red glassed wall evokes the richness of Chinese decor.
Tucked nondescriptly behind Pak Loh and Fisherman's Cove is Jake's Charbroil Steakhouse, which holds no surprises, decor or food-wise. I meander along the interesting pathways, examining the walls and ceilings. Speaking of which, remember to look out for the cave paintings. Details again. On the way back to the main concourse where we started, I spy a confectionery, The Bakery Moments. I toy with the idea of having a croissant moment, but Eoon is a hard taskmaster and does not allow me to linger, dragging me instead to Tarbush. I don't have to be told what this is. Although the decor is decidedly contemporary, the wall of carved camels that contains the restaurant and the Middle Eastern lights speak for themselves.
I emerge from the kaleidoscope a little overwhelmed by what I've seen. It's clear that the attractions of the Feast Village are not meant to be absorbed in a day. Minus the bakery and the bar, there are an astounding 11 restaurants waiting to be discovered. And that's just the food. It can be intimidating if you don't have a clue where to start. Eoon reassures me when point this out. Says there are "floor ambassadors" stationed on the ground and lower ground floors of Starhill Gallery to assist walk-in patrons. Guests at YTL's stable of hotels - the JW Marriott, The Ritz-Carlton and The Residences at The Ritz-Carlton, which are all linked - will be apprised of Feast Village's attractions by the various concierges as well as by electronic and print information systems provided in their rooms. These guests can avail themselves of signing facilities at any of the outlets, he reveals. The restaurants will be open daily from noon to 1am on weekdays. On weekends, they will open an hour earlier.
As I walk back to the Marriott through the tunnel of stars again, there's a sense of excitement at all I've seen. KL's latest dining hub is a visual treat, but I'll have to go back and check out if my taste buds will be as easily satisfied as my other senses.
Feast Village at a glance
Shook! :: The best of East and West combined, offering Japanese and Mediterranean-influenced cuisine in an ambience of casual elegance.
Sentidos Tapas :: As the name implies, offers myriad little platters of Spanish delicacies in a convivial atmosphere. Perfect for whiling away time on a day off.
Luk Yu Tea House :: Delightful two-level teahouse tucked away beside the escalator. Offers the options of a light Chinese meal, including dim sum, soups, porridges, noodles, rice dishes, wok-fried meats and vegetables and a selection of teas.
Enak :: Malay and Indonesian cuisine on offer in fine-dining surroundings, complete with damask tablecloths and gleaming cutlery.
Fisherman's Cove :: Based on a concept imported from Pangkor Laut Resort, the two-storey affair is fashioned entirely on a nautical theme and offers fine seafood cuisine.
MyThai by Jim Thompson :: Obviously they don't just do silk. The ambience is elegant and soothing, the decor outstanding, the food, Thai, of course.
Tarbush Restaurant :: Middle-Eastern fare in a modern atmosphere. Ethnic accents and a "wall" of carved camel figures hint of the influences.
Pak Loh Chiu Chow Restaurant :: What could this be but Chinese. In a more formal setting than Luk Yu, but with a decor statement that says avant-garde meets tradition.
Koryo Won Korean Restaurant :: The famous Korean barbecue experience has been transported into a modern interior, complete with counter and tatami-style seating.
Vansh :: A very modern Indian affair in KL. Authentic in flavour, the surprise apparently lies in the exciting new way of presenting food from the subcontinent.
Jake's Charbroil Steakhouse :: What are they doing here? Hey, everybody wants a good, old-fashioned steak now and again and they do a mean one.
The Village Bar :: There's nothing rustic about this joint, which is made for drinking. Bottles galore in the decor shout out what it's all about.
The Bakery Moments :: The place to stop by and have pastries and coffee.
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